6 books · free Key Ideas guide for each
Best books on negotiation and persuasion
Negotiation and persuasion books overlap more than their titles suggest. The negotiation books lean on empathy and listening; the persuasion books explain why people say yes; and the conversation books show how to stay honest when emotions run high. Read together, they make you harder to push around and easier to agree with.
Where to start
Pick by the problem you have
These are the books on negotiation, persuasion and difficult conversations we have a free Key Ideas guide for. Each guide is a short PDF with the 12 main ideas, a one-page summary, worksheets and a cheat sheet, followed by a 7-day plan by email to practice them.
- Never Split the Difference by Chris Voss with Tahl Raz, if you have a real negotiation coming up: a salary, a deal, a landlord.
- Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion by Robert B. Cialdini, if you sell or market anything, or want to notice when you are being pushed into a yes.
- Crucial Conversations by Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, and Al Switzler, if you avoid hard conversations, or handle them by going quiet or getting loud.
Start with Never Split the Difference, free
The list
6 books, and the key ideas of each
We only list books we have a Key Ideas guide for. Each guide is free for your first book.
Never Split the Difference
Chris Voss with Tahl Raz
A former FBI hostage negotiator's techniques for negotiating, built on tactical empathy and careful listening.
Key ideas Tactical empathy · Discovery · Voice
For anyone who negotiates, which is almost everyone: salaries, deals, landlords, kids, coworkers. Especially useful if you avoid hard conversations or tend to give in to end them.
Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion
Robert B. Cialdini
The core principles of persuasion, like reciprocity, commitment, social proof, authority, liking and scarcity, and how to spot them.
Key ideas Shortcuts · Contrast · Reciprocity
For anyone who sells, markets, negotiates, or simply wants to notice when they're being pushed into a yes. It's as useful as a defense manual as it is a persuasion guide.
Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion summary + free 14-page guide →
How to Win Friends and Influence People
Dale Carnegie
Classic principles for getting along with people: take a real interest in them, listen, show appreciation and avoid criticism.
Key ideas Skip criticism · Start from their wants · Give honest appreciation
For anyone who wants to get along better with people at work and home: new managers, salespeople, the shy, and the argumentative. The examples are old but the principles are simple and easy to practice.
How to Win Friends and Influence People summary + free 14-page guide →
Crucial Conversations
Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, and Al Switzler
How to talk openly when the stakes are high, opinions differ and emotions run strong, without blowing up or going quiet.
Key ideas Crucial · Candor and respect · Shared pool
For anyone who avoids hard conversations or handles them badly, at work or at home. Especially useful for managers, partners, and people who go quiet or get loud under stress.
Nonviolent Communication
Marshall B. Rosenberg
A four-part way to speak and listen, through observations, feelings, needs and requests, without blame or judgment.
Key ideas Four parts · Judgments · Observe
For people whose disagreements slide into blame, at home or at work, and who want a concrete way to say what bothers them without starting a fight. Also for anyone who jumps to advice when someone just wants to be heard.
Radical Candor
Kim Scott
Good bosses care personally and challenge directly, giving honest feedback that helps people grow.
Key ideas Relationship · Two dimensions · Not
For managers and team leads who avoid hard feedback or deliver it badly, and for anyone who wants colleagues to tell them the truth. Written mostly about tech workplaces, but the actions work with peers and friends too.
In short
Questions
What is the best book on negotiation?
Never Split the Difference by Chris Voss, a former FBI hostage negotiator, is the most practical: tactical empathy, labeling, mirroring and calibrated questions you can try in your next conversation.
Is Influence about manipulation?
Influence by Robert Cialdini describes the principles that make people say yes, such as reciprocity, commitment, social proof and authority. It works as much as a defense manual as a persuasion guide.
Are the Key Ideas guides free?
Yes. Your first book, its Key Ideas PDF guide and the 7-day plan, is free with just an email. Members get every book on the shelf.