Afterpage · week card
The Let Them Theory
Mel Robbins
Key ideas
- Let Them, then Let Me.
- Calm yourself before you respond.
- Their opinion of you is theirs.
- Make comparison your teacher.
- People change when they want to.
The week
| Day 1 | Read the summary. Five key ideas and where the book overreaches. |
| Day 2 | Count what you try to control. Each time today you try to manage someone else's opinion, mood, or choice, write a one-line note. Bad day: Write three people you tried to manage this week and what you wanted from each. |
| Day 3 | Say Let Them, then Let Me. Take the circled line from yesterday and run the full tool on it once: say “let them” about their part, then name and do one thing that is yours. Bad day: Write one “Let them...” sentence and one “Let me...” sentence about a single situation. |
| Day 4 | Turn one envy into a plan. Name one person you've compared yourself to lately, sort what you envy into fixed or buildable, and book 15 minutes for one buildable step. Bad day: Write one thing you envy in someone and one small step you could take toward it. |
| Day 5 | Go first with one friend. Message one friend you've drifted from and suggest a specific time to talk or meet. Bad day: Send one friend a message that names a day you're free. |
| Day 6 | Stop pushing and ask instead. With one person you've been trying to change, apologize for the pressure and ask one open question, then stop talking and listen. Bad day: Text one person: “I've been pushing you on this, and I'm going to stop.” |
| Day 7 | Write your standing Let Me rule. Pick the situation that came up most this week and write one standing rule for how you'll respond next time. Bad day: Write one sentence that starts “Next time this happens, let me...” |
Free week by email at getafterpage.com/books/the-let-them-theory