Afterpage · week card
Nonviolent Communication
Marshall B. Rosenberg
Key ideas
- Observe without evaluating.
- Feelings are not thoughts.
- Feelings point to needs.
- Make requests, not demands.
- Empathy before advice.
The week
| Day 1 | Read the summary. Five key ideas and where the book overreaches. |
| Day 2 | Write it the way a camera would. Write down three things someone did this week that bothered you, then rewrite each one as a plain observation with no judgment in it. Bad day: Rewrite one complaint from this week as exactly what a camera would have recorded. |
| Day 3 | Name the feeling and the need. Three times today, stop for one minute and name what you're feeling and the need behind it. Bad day: Write one line right now: “I feel ___ because I need ___.” |
| Day 4 | Make one small request. Turn one small, recurring annoyance into a clear request and ask someone for it today. Bad day: Send one person a message that starts “Would you be willing to” and names one specific thing. |
| Day 5 | Listen for feelings and needs. In one conversation today, when the other person shares a problem, guess their feeling and need before you offer any advice. Bad day: Reply to the next message someone sends you about a problem with one guess at how they feel. |
| Day 6 | Say all four parts. Bring up one thing that's been bothering you with someone, using all four steps: observation, feeling, need, and request. Bad day: Write your four parts for one issue on a sticky note, ready to say. |
| Day 7 | Thank someone in three parts. Thank one person today by saying what they did, the need it met for you, and how you feel about it. Bad day: Send one person a message naming one thing they did and the need it met for you. |
Free week by email at getafterpage.com/books/nonviolent-communication