Afterpage · week card
Never Split the Difference
Chris Voss with Tahl Raz
Key ideas
- Tactical empathy.
- Mirroring.
- Labeling.
- Aim for “that's right”.
- Ask calibrated questions.
The week
| Day 1 | Read the summary. Five key ideas and where the book overreaches. |
| Day 2 | Mirror three times. In conversations today, mirror someone at least three times by repeating their last few words as a question, then pause. Bad day: Mirror the next thing anyone says to you today, then count to four before speaking. |
| Day 3 | Label one emotion. In one conversation today, name the other person's feeling out loud with a label, then stop talking. Bad day: Write down a label you could use for someone you'll talk to today. |
| Day 4 | Write an accusation audit. Before a conversation that might be tense, write down every negative thing the other side might think about you or your request. Bad day: Write the single worst thing they might think about your request. |
| Day 5 | Get a “that's right”. In a disagreement or discussion today, summarize the other person's view so well that they say “that's right” or something like it. Bad day: Write a two-sentence summary of someone's position you disagree with, as fairly as you can. |
| Day 6 | Ask “how” instead of saying no. When you get a request or offer you don't like today, respond with a calibrated “how” or “what” question instead of a flat no. Bad day: Write three “how” or “what” questions you could use in your next negotiation. |
| Day 7 | Run one real negotiation. Pick one real ask this week, from a price to a deadline to a chore, and open it using a label and a calibrated question. Bad day: Write the opening line for one ask you'll make this week. |
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