← How to Win Friends and Influence People
Afterpage · week card
How to Win Friends and Influence People
Dale Carnegie
Key ideas
- Don't criticize, condemn, or complain.
- Be genuinely interested in others.
- Names and listening.
- Avoid arguments.
- Lead without resentment.
The week
| Day 1 | Read the summary. Five key ideas and where the book overreaches. |
| Day 2 | Go one day without complaining. Go the whole day without criticizing, condemning, or complaining about anyone, out loud or in writing. Bad day: For the next hour, catch and stop one complaint before you say it. |
| Day 3 | Ask three people about themselves. In three conversations today, ask a genuine question about the other person and follow up on their answer. Bad day: Ask one person a follow-up question about something they told you recently. |
| Day 4 | Use names and remember them. Learn and use the names of three people today, including at least one you've met before but forgotten. Bad day: Write down the names of three people you met recently, with one detail each. |
| Day 5 | Give sincere appreciation. Tell three people specifically and honestly what you appreciate about something they did. Bad day: Send one specific thank-you message right now. |
| Day 6 | Skip one argument. Next time you disagree with someone today, don't argue: find what you agree on, ask about their view, and admit anything you got wrong. Bad day: In your next disagreement, say “you may be right” and ask one question. |
| Day 7 | Give feedback the Carnegie way. Give someone one piece of constructive feedback using Carnegie's approach: start with honest appreciation, mention your own mistakes, and ask questions instead of giving orders. Bad day: Write the opening appreciation and question you'd use for one piece of feedback. |
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