Afterpage · week card
Crucial Conversations
Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, and Al Switzler
Key ideas
- Fill the pool of shared meaning.
- Start with heart.
- Make it safe.
- Master your stories.
- State your path.
The week
| Day 1 | Read the summary. Five key ideas and where the book overreaches. |
| Day 2 | Know your style under stress. Think back over recent tense conversations and write down whether you tend toward silence or violence. Bad day: Write one word, silence or violence, for how you usually react. |
| Day 3 | Ask what you really want. Pick one hard conversation you've been avoiding and write what you really want for yourself, the other person, and the relationship. Bad day: Write one sentence about what you want for the relationship. |
| Day 4 | Separate facts from story. Take one situation that's bothering you and write the facts in one column and your story about them in another. Bad day: Write one fact and one story about a situation that's bothering you. |
| Day 5 | Use a contrast statement. Prepare a contrast statement for your hard conversation: what you don't mean, followed by what you do mean. Bad day: Write one “I don't mean... I do mean...” sentence. |
| Day 6 | Have the conversation. Hold the hard conversation, using the state-your-path steps: share facts, tell your story tentatively, and ask for their view. Bad day: Ask someone you're in conflict with for a time to talk. |
| Day 7 | Agree who does what by when. After your conversation, write down and share who will do what by when, and how you'll follow up. Bad day: Write one action, owner, and date from a recent conversation. |
Free week by email at getafterpage.com/books/crucial-conversations